BUSH KICKED OUT OF G-8 SUMMIT
by R J Shulman
HEILIGENDAMM, Germany - In a surprise move, the members of the G-8 Summit of the industrial powers of the world voted to oust President George W. Bush from the summit. “Go ahead and join in the liberal media fun,” said a shocked and awed Bush, “and pick on George W.” “This was not personal,” said German Chancellor Angela Merkel, “it’s just that the United States no longer manufactures anything. Even American flags say ‘made in China.’”

America’s place at the Summit was taken by Singapore whose rapid growth in manufacturing has now surpassed that of the US. “We are happy to be here,” said Singapore’s Prime Minister Lee Kwan Yew “and if anyone objects we will gladly cane their bare bottoms in public.”

“We will have to bomb the crap out of old Europe, if you will,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, upon hearing of the decision to remove the US, “as soon as our bombs arrive from the plant in Bangladesh.”