DENNIS MILLER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HIS OWN REFERENCES
by R J Shulman
NEW YORK, N. Y. – On the Larry King Live show last night, radio talk show host and comedian Dennis Miller admitted that he himself is at a loss to explain the use of his often obscure references. “Whenever I listen to a tape recording of what I have said,” Miller told King, “frankly, I have no clue what I'm talking about. It’s like Helen Keller eating Camembert cheese.” When asked to explain that remark, Miller replied, “Got me. That made about as much sense as Marcel Proust sniffing Immanuel Kant’s underpants.”

“It’s a cinch to do right wing talk radio,” Miller told Bob, a caller to Larry King Live from Lexington, Kentucky. “All I do is spout a Republican talking point, add one of my metaphors and, bingo! - I’m a hero. For example, I might say ‘we have to kill the terrorist over there in Iraq folks or they will follow us over here to America and make us feel as lonely as Robert Oppenheimer did after his dog left.” “I don’t recall Oppenheimer had a dog,” King said. “That proves my point as certain as Rosemary Clooney could read telephone poles,” replied Miller.

“Listening to you, Dennis,” said caller Doris from Greenville, North Carolina, “is like the awful feeling I get when I hear squeaky chalk scratch on a blackboard.” “Now that,” replied King, “is one metaphor I do understand.”