SENATORS VOTE NO CONFIDENCE ON THEIR OWN ABILTY TO VOTE
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D. C. - The Senate yesterday rejected a bid to vote a no confidence in Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales by voting instead to show a no confidence vote in their own capability to vote in a rational fashion.

“We fell seven votes short of showing that we know what the hell we are doing,” said Senator Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.), “but the good news is that we are making steady progress.”

“I thought we were in the clear after the vote on Gonzales failed,” said Senator Trent Lott (R-Miss), “but those dang Democrats then had us vote on whether we knew what we vote for when we do vote.”

“I thought I was voting for starting a war in Iran,” said Senator Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.), “I had no idea the vote was for whether or not I knew my ass from a hole in the ground.”

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has no immediate plans to introduce a “no confidence in voting” bill in the House, “but it will be sooner rather than later,” she said.