BUSH ADMINISTRATON TO LAUNCH PROBE TO DISCOVER WHO OUTED SCOOTER LIBBY
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D. C. - The Bush Administration announced plans to begin a full scale investigation to determine who was responsible for leaking I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby’s name to special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. The outing of Libby ultimately led to his conviction and sentencing on perjury and obstruction of justice charges and a thirty month jail sentence.

“We need to get to the bottom of the barrel to determine which person disclosicated Scooter to the press folks,” Bush said, “so I am ordering a no-holds barred like study to find the little squealer.”

“We are saddened for Scooter’s children,” said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, “so the least we can do for them, in fact, for all the children of the world is to find and prosecute the person responsible for taking Scooter away from his beloved youngsters.”

“In the interests of bringing the truth to the American people, “said Vice President Dick Cheney, “we may have to employ the dark side, if you will. I can assure you that we have amassed the a very experienced team for that purpose.” The panel includes Attorney General Alberto Gonzales who said, “we will do what it takes to extract the truth from the guilty party, even if there may be a few thousand false leads first. Of course, I won't remember anything about it later.”

“The unfortunate sentencing of Libby occurred, my friends, ” said talk show host Rush Limbaugh, “because of the liberal media supports all the Bush haters who secretly know if you want the real culprit here, that all roads lead to Bill Clinton.”