IMMIGRATION BILL: LEGISLATION ONLY A CAVEMAN CAN UNDERSTAND
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Immigration bill that is being debated in congress is so complicated that no one seems to fully understand it’s ramifications. “I have no idea what it means,” said Senator Biden (D-Del), “but we have to do something about immigration, and it’s the only bill on tap, so I’m for it.”

“Its easy as cake,” said President Bush who is a staunch supporter of the bill, “first you have your illegally documented folks who have points if they speak gooder English than me, then they get bigger points to be a guest worker bee, but if they wear out their guest worker bee welcome for too long, they lose points, but if they are related to a friend of mine they get to pass go and get to either collect 200 or pay a fine of $5000 and then I think we send them to Iraq.”

When asked by the Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch, Capital Hill insiders were unable to give a simple explanation of the bill except for Ooog Bloogugh, a visiting Caveman from Montana who seemed confident that the proposed legislation meant, “if you are stuck in another man’s cave, ultimately, your ass gets whupped.”