BUSH COMMUTES LIBBY'S ORIGINAL SIN
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON D.C. - Just five hours after an appeals court ordered I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby to begin his jail sentence for this conviction for perjury and obstruction of justice, President Bush not only commuted his sentence, but declared that Libby was now free from all sin. "I asked myself," Bush said in an issued statement, "what whould Jesus do? And it was clear as a bell jar, Jesus would forgive the man of all his sins." The President added that as the decider, he could do it.

"There is nothing in the Constitution that specifically prevents a President from absolving an American Citizen from all sin," said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow. "Nor anyting," Snow continued, "that prevents the President from walking on water."