SUPREME COURT RULES TO END VOTING DISCIMINIATION AGAINST CORPORATIONS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an historic 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court struck down a law that would limit the amount of contributions a corporation could make toward buying election ads on radio and television. "The heinous laws were trying to stifle the free speech that corporations enjoy under the United States Constitution that considers corporations as persons,” said Justice Alito. “So 'we the people,' means corporations," he continued, "and since people are not corporations, people are the ones who are not people under the Constitution”

“This is our Brown v. the Board of Education,” said GE CEO Jeffrey Immelt, referring the landmark decision of 1954 that ended school segregation. Ironically, in Parents v. Seattle School District just decided by the Court, Brown was virtually overturned as the court eliminated diversity as a tool to rebalance school districts.

“Voter discrimination against corporations has been institutionalized for so long,’ said talk show host Rush Limbaugh who approved of the decision, “I mean, my friends, when was the last time that a corporation was allowed to run for President? This year we have a woman and a black man running, but the liberals who control everything have unfairly blocked any corporations from running for our highest office.”

“This historic decision may not single-handedly aleviate the long history of discrimination against coporations,” said Halliburton CEO David Lesar, “but it is a good start for corporations to one day be able to sit down at the table with persons and be judged for their character, not the color of their stock certificates.”