BUSH SAYS ALBERTO GONZALES IS NOT LYING: BECAUSE

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - Amidst the increasing calls for the resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales for possible purjery and obstruction of justice, President Bush has once again expressed his support for Gonzales. "Some of you have asked with all the inconsistications in what Alberto was tellin' the Congress folks, why Alberto is not a big fat liar," said Bush in a prepared statement issued this afternoon, "The reason he is not lying is because."

"That should put an end to questions about the Attorney General's integrity," said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, "Now it's time to move on." "What a succinct and perfect answer," said Vice President Dick Cheney. "If I was asked that question by anyone, I would have been forced to shoot their face off"

"Even if Alberto was lying," said an unamed White House spokes person, "it wouldn't matter because President Clinton lied first and this administration will not stoop to level of the Clinton administration's childish behavior, so na-na-na-na-na, so's your old man, tag your 'it'."