GENERAL PATRAEUS NOT PATRAEUS ENOUGH TO WRITE PATRAEUS REPORT
by R J Shulman

Bush takes back medal of honor given to General David Patraeus

WASHINGTON - The Bush Aministration announced that the long awaited report from General David Patraeus to Congress and the American people regarding the success of the surge of US forces in Iraq, will not be written by the General, but by President Bush. "The general must have listened to to much of the liberal media," said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, "as he failed to report all the good news and progress in Iraq, so the President has taken charge and written the report himself." "The Bush Administration has been concerned with the Congress interfering with the wonderful progress being made by our troops in Iraq," continued Snow.

"We don't want our generals with their feet on the ground being told what to do by Washington politicians, "said the President, "except of course, for me, being the commander, decider guy and all." "We are quite concerned that General Patraeus's self written report would give comfort to the enemy," said Vice President Dick Cheney, "so you could say that General Patreous' ability to write reports is in its final throes."