PRESIDENT BUSH TAKES UP NEW HOBBY TO COMBAT AMERICA’S PROBLEMS
by R. J. Shulman

WASHINGTON – Amidst the all negative news from the Middle East, the unprecedented spike in oil prices and the unparalleled negative image of America in the world, comes the news that President Bush is taking on such challenges by embarking on a new hobby.

“At first I thought learning the guitar would be a good idea, but I got a lot of flack for playing one while Katrina hurricaned the Gulf Coast,” the President said. “So I thought I would take up another instrument.”

“He is a really good student,” said Rudolf Von Stumpen, of the Houston Symphony Orchestra who is giving private music lessons to the President, “he has only destroyed three violins and four eardrums so far, much less destruction than he usually causes.”

"Clinton had his sax," said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, " and now George has his violin. And everyone knows Americans have alot more trouble with illicit sax than with indiscriminant violins."

“I really feel inspired,” the President said as he played furiously, “the greater the problems, the harder I play. Middle East? Fiddle East,” he said launcing into a rousing solo from The Devil Went Down to Georgia. “I am happy that he can finally face the music,” said Laura Bush, obviously proud of her husband.

“This is a good thing for America,” said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “I mean, would you rather have him fiddle over there or fiddle over here?”

It is reported that Vice President Cheney has also taken up the same instrument. “Boy if I had one of these,” Cheney said from his undisclosed bunker, “my friend Harry might still have his face.”