SEC ON WHY THEY MISSED MADOFF SCHEME: THERE WAS JUST TOO MUCH PORN TO REVIEW
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – SEC Chairman Christopher Cox defended his agency against accusations that they failed to investigate disgraced investor Bernard Madoff when they had received information that his investments looked suspicious back in 2003. “We run a lean and mean agency to save the taxpayers money,” said Cox, “so our employees were completely overwhelmed with all the internet porn they had to review.” “Just when you think you have explored all the racy sites,” said Jack Norwood, an SEC supervisor, “something like topless saucy cooks from around the word or buns and guns pops up, and then there is just no time to investigate Madoff.”

“The reason we weren’t that concerned if Madoff’s investments exploded,” said Nate Carney of the SEC, “was because he was just too big to fail and we could always use taxpayer money to bail him out.”

Madoff is accused of running the largest Ponzi scheme in history and losing perhaps as much as $50 billion dollars of investors' money. He is currently under house or mansion arrest where he is restricted from calling on new investors. “Do you know how hard this is on me,” Madoff told the Post Times Sun Dispatch, “I have a couple of great investment vehicles and can’t call anyone to invest in them.” Even if convicted on all counts, Madoff may never see jail time because the prisons are too full inmates who have stolen a loaf of bread to feed their families.