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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, May 25, 2014


by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – The Republican led House took time away from investigating Benghazi and trying to repeal Obamacare for the fifty-fifth time to pass the Don’t Undermine My Bible bill (or DUMB Act), that makes it a crime to use math or science to support an idea.

Bill sponsor Louie Gohmert (R-Tex) said, “How can America stay number one in the world when we allow evil scientists and mad mathematicians tear apart this great country.  Oops, I shouldn’t have used the number one because numbers are inherently liberal.”

“While those Godless Communist liberals in the Democrat party cannot shake my faith in faith,” said Vicki Hertzler (R-Mo) who supported the DUMB Act, “I worry about them trying to subvert the minds of my children with their wildly unsupported theories of evolution, gravity and needing clean air to breathe.”

“All we Americans need to know is that our Christian founding fathers put the Ten Commandments right into our Constitution so we could protect our rights with Bibles and guns,” Gohmert said. “This here Dumb Act will help protect real Americans from the efforts of those left-wing fascists from trying to force us to believe in their false religion of math and science when all of the hard evidence of truth that we need is found in the Good Book.”

“I voted for this bill because outlawing phony science and math will stop the enemies of freedom from attacking fossil fuels, trickle down economics and unfettered capitalism,” said Steven King (R-Iowa). “If we don’t reign in these math and science economic terrorists, we will be letting Communist China become better capitalists than we are.”

“This bill is a start,” said Renee Ellmers (R- NC).  “After we get rid of math and science we need to get rid of that most treacherous tool of liberals – facts.”  


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