DONALD STERLING TO SELL CLIPPERS; WILL BUY REDSKINS

by R J Shulman

LOS ANGELES – (PTSD News Service) – In a surprise move, embattled Clippers’ owner Donald Sterling said he would drop his lawsuit against the NBA and sell his Los Angeles basketball team.  “I’m not capitulating to the ridiculous demands of the National Basketball Association,” Sterling said, “it’s just that I need the cash from the sale of the Clippers to buy the Washington Redskins.”

Sterling explained that he always wanted to own a National Football league team, “and the Washington club have a name that I particularly like. I guess you could say it resonates with me.”

When told that there were objections to the name “Redskins,” Sterling said, “what are those Indians complaining about now?  We didn’t break that many treaties and we gave them free blankets.”

Sterling said that he wanted to become an NFL team owner ASAP, so he could lend his voice to stop the “disgusting trend of allowing gays to play football.”  He said, “what if you are a center and you are bending forward to snap the football before the start of a play and there is a gay quarterback behind you.  That center could never be sure which ball the quarterback might soon be grabbing.”