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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, April 26, 2014


by R J Shulman

MONTGOMERY, Alabama (PTSD News Service) – Not to be outdone by Georgia’s recently passed “Guns Anywhere” law, Alabama has enacted a much broader pro-gun law, called the “Gun Almighty” law.  The new legislation not only allows a person to carry a firearm anywhere in the state, but actually mandates that guns must be carried at all time in certain places.

“You must bring you gun to church or face a severe penalty,” said State Senator Clem Purdy (R-Florence), who sponsored the bill.  “Why else would Jesus have been called the Prince of Piece if he didn’t want his followers to have a piece on hand when the worship Him?”

Other establishments that require a carried gun for entry are bars, liquor stores, massage parlors and trailer homes of ex-spouses who have a restraining order against the person wanting to enter.  Anyone not carrying the required gun to these places will be immediately arrested and sent to jail, the other place where carrying a gun is required.

The law removed the need for time consuming background checks and has a special allowance for those with mental problems to carry two guns at once in case they are so crazy that they miss their target after emptying their first weapon.

“I wish that Charlton Heston was still with us and hadn’t died and had them liberals pry that gun out of his cold dead hands,” said Wanda Lockload (R-Anniston) “He sure would be shouting hallelujah over this new law.”
The only restraint on regarding guns is that certain people may have to go through a vetting process before being issued a gun permit.  “For the safety of the public, Muslims and African Americans have a short waiting period of about sixty years or so before they can get a gun permit," Lockload said.


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