BUSH PANTS TO GO TO THE SMITHSONIAN

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – The heavily charred pants that Former President George W. Bush was wearing when he told the world that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction have finally found a home at the Smithsonian.  The controversy over the pants arose when Bush wanted the pants to go on display at the Bush Library in College Station, Texas.  However, the Smithsonian made a claim for the item stating that the pants were not only one of the most famous examples of spontaneous combustion, but it was also a part of American history and should reside in the museum in Washington.

The tug of war over the pants was resolved by the Supreme Court in a split decision.  Speaking for the majority, Justice Kennedy said that pants were equal to the paper that famous speeches, such as Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address were written on, and as such, gave the Smithsonian a leg up on the Bush Library for possession of the trousers.  “When the leader of the Free World, George W. Bush announced that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, the truthfulness of that statement was forever seared into history when the very pants which are the subject of our case, burst into flames.”

While disappointed that his pants would not be on display next to the copy of The Pet Goat he was trying to read to elementary students when the attacks on 9-11 happened, Bush said, “I may be a little hot under the collar about my pants going back to Washington, but if you think I am feeling hotification now, that’s nothing compared to the hot seat I was in when I talked about Saddam’s weapons and those pants suddenly inflammicated.”