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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Thursday, May 15, 2014


by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service)  After years of neglect that has led to a failing infrastructure, stagnant wages and an alarming rise in the number of working poor, the US is about to make a change.  A new report by the Third World Watch Group (TWWG) concludes that based upon ten tell-tale factors for determining a nation’s status, the United States has officially become a third world nation.

“Due to rising poverty, control the country’s wealth by the few, massive income inequality, lack of upward mobility, lack of manufacturing, government control by the rich, declining civil rights, a failing educational system and a rotting infrastructure, the once-called land of opportunity has been out sourced to China,” said William Underwood, a senior analyst for TWWG.  “The good news in all this is that the US Congress will finally be forced to follow its directive to aid third world countries and will send economic aid to the states just as it sends aids to countries like Haiti and Bangladesh,” Underwood said.

According to the report, the US will shift aid it formerly sent to China and India who no longer need it and instead shift this economic aid to Mississippi, Alabama and West Virginia.  The report noted that it has already become a new custom among Chinese mothers who are trying to get their finicky children to eat better to tell them, “if you do not finish your plate, I know of millions of starving children in America who would love to eat that.” 

“This aid will be a drop in the bucket of what has been needed for a long time in this country,” said Senator Bernie Sanders (I-Vt), “but this will not end the war on the middle class that has seen a steady exodus of good paying jobs to places like China and India.  If you thought it was ill advised to send American soldiers to Viet Nam four decades ago, that will be nothing compared to us sending American jobs to Viet Nam due to our disastrous trade agreements.”

The first shipment of American Apple Pie is expected to arrive in Ohio as soon as it can be shipped to Cleveland from Shanghai where the pies were baked and a shipment of clothes from Banana Republic should arrive in Detroit soon from Indonesia where the clothing was manufactured.

Underwood notes that there may be a monkey wrench that could stop economic aid to the states as the US Budget Office reports that there may be no money left in the national coffers due to it all being spent by Congress on its ongoing Benghazi investigations.


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