PUTIN TO CRITICS OF HIS UKRANIAN ANNEXATION: OH, GO CRIMEA RIVER

by R J Shulman

 MOSCOW (PTSD News Service) – Russian President Vladimir Putin thumbed his nose at the outcry against his recent annexation of the Crimean peninsula, which had been part of Ukraine.  In a news conference yesterday, Putin accused the Kiev government and its western allies and sympathizers of being big blubbering babies as and said “oh, Перейдите к пункту Погода в Крыму Поток,” which roughly translates into Oh, go Crimea river.”

“I will send troops to protect my peoples wherever anyone speaks Russian, slurps borscht, listens to Tchaikovsky, or tops their salads with Russian Dressing,” Putin proclaimed.  Putin said he is not worried about President Obama because “that weak pretend tyrannical leader of the so-called free world is no more than a usurping Muslim who wasn’t even born in the USA.  I know,” Putin said, “because I watch Fox News.”   

President Obama in turn said that he is not worried about what is happening in the Ukraine because over eight million people have signed up under the Affordable Care Act and to combat Putin he has issued an Executive Order that changes the name of Russian Dressing to Freedom Dressing.