GOP VOTES TO NAME BENGHAZI AS THE 51^ST STATE

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) - Republican leaders took time away from voting for the fifty-third time to repeal the Affordable Care Act to advocate for the addition of a new state to the union.  “The most important place in the world that is not already part of the United States is clearly Benghazi,” said Darrell Issa (R- Cal.).  “Anyone can see that we in Congress have talked more about what is going on in Benghazi than what is happening in the other fifty-states.  Besides,” he said, “if Benghazi is made a state, it will be easier to obtain the information we need that proves Hillary Clinton was lying all along about her prominent role in the deadly attack and what she did afterward to make it the biggest cover-up since Cain lied about slaying Abel.”

“Another advantage for Republicans to support Benghazi statehood is that most of the people there are Muslims and this would prove the GOP has a big tent that supports diversity,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner.  “Of course, we will have to enforce a very strict voter identification policy to make sure there is no Benghazi voter fraud.”

Senator John McCain (R- Ariz.) said that the push for Benghazi statehood does not go far enough.  “We need to add a fifty-second state.  I have sponsored a bill to grant US statehood to Ukraine, the entire pre-Putin annexation version, to keep the Russians from any more of their illegal annexations and meddling in other people’s business.”

Not all Republicans have expressed support for Benghazi statehood.  Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) said she feared making Benghazi a state could be followed up by Kenyan statehood which could legitimized Obama’s birth certificate, finally making him a citizen and eligible for the presidency.”

So far, in a new ABC/Washington Post News Poll, the people of Benghazi have expressed no interest in becoming part of the United States. Undaunted, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said, “since when does what the people want have any relation to what we vote for in Congress.”