GOP TO RUN HOLOGRAM OF REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2016

by R J Shulman

 

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Taking a page from the recently aired Michael Jackson hologramic performance of his newly released song Slave to the Rhythm at the Billboard Music Awards, Republican Party leaders announced today that they will nominate and run a hologram of Ronald Reagan as their candidate for President in 2016.  “If one great icon of the ‘80s can make a comeback appearance, why not another?” said Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus.  

Priebus also noted that a Reagan reemergence takes care of the vacuum that seems to exist in trying to field a viable Republican candidate to oppose Hillary Clinton, the likely Democrat in 2016.  “Perry can’t remember three things to save his life, Cruz is crazy, Rand Paul would disband government, Christie is now a Christie critter, and Jeb Bush, hell  the country has been bushwhacked enough, so a Regan rebooted is not just a great idea, but is in reality, is the second coming.”

“Regan retread wouldn’t waste any time discussing global warming, gay marriage or legalizing marijuana – heck, they wouldn’t even be on his radar,” Priebus said, “and his views on Russia being the evil empire are now more current than ever with Putin annexing the crap out of Ukraine.”

Priebus said he is not worried about the presidential debates because whenever Hillary or some other Democrat makes a point, the Regan hologram would just answer “there you go again” or “liberal, liberal, liberal.”   “Those retorts worked back then and they should work again now,” he said.

Priebus added that unlike the current president, Reagan would have no problem producing a valid birth certificate.  “Heck, he even has a death certificate.”

Some members of the GOP are not so keen on re-running Reagan because they believe that the former pesident would be way too liberal to fit into today’s Republican party.