FOX FACTS ON WHY HEALTHCARE.GOV IS SO SLOW

by R J. Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD- News Service) - Fox News has reported the following ten reasons why the Obamacare website is so slow:

1.      Obama himself reads your personal profile so he knows which of your enemies to send your most personal information to

2.      It takes a bit of time for the program to locate all of your guns and notify the feds so they can confiscate them

3.      Muslim, black and illegal Mexicans are automatically sent to the head of the line when they log in, bumping you to the back of the bus, so to speak

4.      It takes some time to match your family profile to the proper death panel

5.      They system has to take the time to determine if you are a conservative and if so it will knock you off line and if it finds out you are a tea party conservative it schedules you with a government doctor for castration

6.      The system has been overloaded because it has been programmed to assign everyone to a detention camp

7.      The system is frustrating on purpose because they want you to get so despondent that you kill yourself so they can divert your health care benefits and subsidies to welfare queens

8.      As a promise to get their vote in the general election, Obama had to hire lazy, shiftless and uppity minorities to run the website  

9.      It takes some time for the system to place a computer chip in your body through your fingertips that are typing on government altered keyboards.

10.  The devil is in the details because the devil himself created this law

Remember it is not paranoia if Obama’s tyrannical governmental thugs really are out to get you.