ROMNEY: I UNDERSTAND THE COMMON MAN

By R J Shulman

JUPITER, Florida - (PTSD News Service) – In an effort to counter the recent claims that he is out of touch with 99% of Americans, Mitt Romney told a small crowd at Hockney’s Hot Cars that he was just like them. Dressed in a brand new pair of Dussault Apparel’s Trashed Denim $250,000 jeans, and a $100,000 pink jacket over a $3,500 Hawaiin shirt, Romney said, “My valet puts my pants on me one leg at a time, just like you do. Sometimes when I am on one of my yachts, I watch the same football games as you do. My chauffer drives me down the same highways as you drive.”
Romney told the crowd that “I am no stranger to factories. I have been in many. OK, so you were there to work and make something, while I as there to see if I could suck the wealth out of it, but that’s just a little detail and not a real difference between you an me. When it comes time for you to vote, don’t let a man who was born into the privilege of affirmative action in Kenya try and convince you he knows anything about achieving greatness through hard work.”
Romney ended his appearance by asking for support, urging his audience to “vote for me and I will show you how life can be an enriching and rewarding experience and who better than I to know all about being enriched and rewarded.”