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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, January 15, 2012













CORRECTION CORPORATION OF AMERICA TO BUILD STRUCTURES IN CHINA TO ACCOMMODATE OCCUPY WALL STREET PROTESTORS

By R J Shulman

NASHVILLE, Tennessee – (PTSD News Service) – Corrections Corporation of America announced a joint venture with the United States Government and about half of the states to build large facilities in China to provide a home for members of the Occupy Wall Street Movement that sprung up all over the country.  “We are proud to serve America by solving the housing problem of all of those citizens who have overrun some of America’s finest parks and streets outside government buildings,” said John Ferguson, Chairman of the Board of CCA.


CCA estimated that their new facilities in China will be able to provide shelter and one square meal a day to over two-hundred and seventy million Americans, or approximately 99% of the population.  “No longer will the homeless, shiftless, lazy, unwashed hippies who are jealous of the job creators and hard working billionaires have to block up our streets and public places,” said David Koch, president of Koch industries, who helped broker the deal. “Even though these people despise us 1%ers, we still have been kind enough to fund this project which will give them a roof over their heads and the security of knowing that no one can break in or out of their new homes.”


The deal, which included the Chinese government, will move millions of Chinese people to America.  “This will stop the complaints about jobs going to China,” said Koch, “Jobs will now stay in America because we will soon have men, women and cute little children willing to work for five dollars a day and who won’t complain about coffee breaks, getting weekends off or workplace safety.”   Koch also pointed out that there are plenty of houses already here in America for the Chinese who will come over here to work, because of all the empty houses in foreclosure or left empty by occupy protestors who “won’t be coming back to their houses any time soon,” Koch said, “and besides, the Chinese don’t whine like brats when twenty-five or thirty of them have to live in one room.”

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