STROM THURMOND COMES BACK FROM DEAD; CONGRATULATES GOP ON VOTER SUPRESSION TACTICS

by R J Shulman

EDGEFIELD,  South Carolina – (PTSD News Service) –  Jason Haws of the Syfy reality TV series Ghost Hunters claims that while on location at the Willowbrook Cemetery, he and his crew were visited by the ghost of longtime South Carolina politician Strom Thurmond.  “There was no doubt it was Thurmond,” Hawes said, “it looked just like him and when he began to speak he said something about turning in his grave when Barack Obama became president.  He then praises Republicans for their nationwide effort to put “roadblocks’ in the voting process to keep the undesirables out.” 

Hawes was able to catch some comments on his tape recorder that he attributes to Thurmond.  “Back in my day,” Thurmond says in a clear by eerie voice, “we referred to such delicious tactics as belonging to one Mr. Jim Crow, as is in if you are as black as a crow you can fergit about votin’.”

Hawes and the Ghost Hunters cast and crew came to this quiet southern town because of persistent rumors of “an ugly old ghost” seen hanging around the cemetery, complaining about “political correctness” and “affirmative action.”

On the tape, Thurmond’s ghostly voice said, “I like forcing people to have a picture voter ID and charging people to get one, which is a modern poll tax, and also making sure in certain darkie districts there are not enough poll workers sos the folks have to wait extra long in line and all those other restrictive laws that Republicans are now using that will have the effect of keeping the coloreds out of the ballot box.”

 Hawes said that he had hoped to get more comments from the specter of Thurmond, but another ghost who looked a great deal like Malcolm X showed up and chased Thurmond back into the ground. 

The show is set to air on the Syfy network the second week in January.