MIDDLE CLASS TO BECOME EXTINCT BY 2029

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – The World Wildlife Fund has predicted that it will soon be the end of the line for Americanus Classicus Middae, a species better known as the American middle class. “This once common creature is being forced out of its habitat often out into the street,” said Saul Spartaine, of the WWF, “and if things continue they way they have been, Americanus Classicus Middae, will disappear from the face of the earth forever within our lifetime.”

“There are several major factors responsible for the decline of Americanus Classicus Middae,” said Emma Walden of the Nature Conservancy, “but the main reason is the sharp rise in the past thirty years of Corprotus Preditus, more commonly known as the corporate class, which has forced Americanus Classicus Middae into retreat. What is astounding,” Walden said, “is that Corprotus Preditus is getting help from a sub species of Americanus Classicus Middae, called Conservitus Teaparticae who are actually supporting Corprotus Preditus’s plan to devour Americanus Classicus Middae out of existence. It’s like lemmings or something self destructive that we don’t quite understand,” she said.

The WWF predicted that at the current rate of reduction in numbers of Americanus Classicus Middae, by 2029 there will only be two species left, the Corprotus Preditus and the Chronicus Povertae. “Of course, if Republicans are elected into office in 2012 the end for Americanus Classicus Middae will come much earlier,” Spartaine said.