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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

by R J Shulman

TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, New Mexico - (PTSD News) - The Verdad Institute just released results from an extensive study to determine why families earning less than $250,000 per year would vote for Republican candidates. "When it's so evident that the GOP has been completely bought by the ultra rich and large multi-national corporations to do their bidding," said Verdad Institute President Henry Walden, "we felt it was important to find out why polls are showing such strength for the Republicans."

"It takes a lot to get people to vote against their own best interest, but according to our study, highly paid Republican stategists seem to have been able to tap into potential voters' ignorance, selfishness and racism."

Verdad release some of the questions they used in their study:

1) Which of the following is a truer statement:
a) Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9-11
b) Saddam Hussein is Barack Hussein Obama's cousin

2) Which is more important:
a) Keeping my neighbor's job from being outsourced to China
b) Keeping my tax dollars from being used to pay unemployment benefits

3) Which is more important for America's future:
a) Coming up with a viable plan to fix the economy
b) Coming up with a viable plan to determine if Obama's Hawaiian birth certificate is real

4) Which is a better approach to immigration:
a) Although it make take time and a great deal of effort, putting together a comprehensive immigration reform plan
b) When it comes to Second Amendment rights for Arizonans, anyone who looks like they could be an illegal Mexican is fair game

5) Which is the more appropriate role for the federal government:
a) Protecting the environment from toxic polluters
b) Protecting your marriage by banning marriage between homosexuals

6) Which is more important for your government representatives to concentrate on:
a) Providing jobs to help out of work Americans rebuild the country's crumbling infrastructure
b) Making sure no mosque is built near ground zero

7) Which is a better approach to health care:
a) Reducing the eligibility age for medicare to allow a buy-in at a rate that will keep the plan solvent
b) Banning Americans from crossing into Canada to buy cheaper perscription drugs that may be substandard while making sure drug companies maintain their free market right to have their legal perscription drugs made in China

8) Which is a greater loss of freedom:
a) Allowing police to ask anyone they think could be a terrorist or illegal alien for their identification papers
b) White people not being allowed to use the "N" word like black people are allowed to do

9) Which is a better way to fix the deficit:
a) Plug tax loopholes for large corporations and end legal tax evasion for the ultra rich so they too have to pay their fair share of the tax burden
b) End unemployment insurance, welfare, food stamps, studies about volcanoes and privatize social security

10) What is better for America's future:
a) Creating a Manhattan Project like think tank to explore ways to make American the world leader in developing and producing alternative energy
b) Allowing Christian prayers in public schools

"The survey result showed that non-wealthy peopole who said they would vote Republican in the coming election overwhelmingly selected "b" on each of the questions, clearly the choice of either a sociopath, a rascist, an ignoramus or any combination thereof," Walden said. "If people truly voted for their own best interest and the Republicans take their orders from wealthist 1% of the population, the GOP should only get 1% of the vote."

Walden says the next survey for the Verdad Institute will be to determine why even though the Democrats had truth, justice and the American Way and the majority on their side, when it came to pushing through their agenda, they acted like they has swallowed a vat of Kryptonite.


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