TERRY JONES' COMPROMISE: I'LL BURN MOSQUE INSTEAD OF KORAN

by R J Shulman

GAINSVILLE, Florida - (PTSD News) - Formerly obscure pastor Terry Jones of the previously unknown Dove World Outreach Center Church announced that due to a last minute compromise, he won't be forced to burn, "that stack of A-rab K-rans." Jones said, "Those books will be spared because instead we will get to burn down the Ground Zero Mosque as soon as it is built. The reason we gave up our God given Constitutional right to burn those blasphemous books is because we haven't had a good house of worship burning in this country since it became PC to not to burn down black churches."

"I am in favor of the mosque burning," said former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, "and I think its our patriotic duty to do so, that is, unless and until Americans are allowed to build a Christian church in Mecca, and not in a crappy part of Mecca either." "This is a positive step in the right direction," said House Minority Leader John Boehner, "except I don't see why we shouldn't just torch the books and the mosque."

Hopefully, this will put an end to this media feeding frenzy about this so-called reverend's plan to burn books he thinks got the God thing wrong," said Werner Wilberforce, a media analyst, "and mercifully stop any further attention paid to Terry Jones, the least deserving person to be thrust into the spotlight since Sarah Palin.

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