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Saturday, March 27, 2010

GOP TO EMBRACE REPARATIONS: REPAY SLAVE OWNER DESCENDANTS FOR LOSS OF PROPERTY
by R J Shulman

BENNETSVILLE, South Carolina - (PTSD News) - Representative Joe Wilson (R-SC), best known for shouting "you lie" as President Obama spoke to Congress, announced to a cheering crowd that he is introducing a bill to repay descendants of slave owners for the loss of their property when their slaves were freed in 1865. "If Obama can run his whole administration as one big reparation to black people," Wilson said, "then it's only fair the government compensate children of slave owners who were unfairly and without due process deprived of their property by northern liberals after the War Between the States."

"We are confident the Supreme Court will uphold any law that awards damages to descendants of slave owners, as freeing the slaves violated the Tenth Amendment which grants states the decision of whether slavery is legal," said Ted Bruner, a lawyer with the conservative Heritage Foundation.

"It's about time someone stands up for opressed white people," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel, "Ever since the Civil Rights Riots of the godless sixties, whipped up by ACORN, there has been nothing but reparations and hand out to those people who thanks to political correctness, we can't even call by their traditional Southern names."
"I caint wait to get a piece of the pie back," said Clem Hogg, an unemployed grave digger from Doraville, Georgia, "me and my cousin Lester could sure use some repatriation cash due us from when those Union socialists took them slaves from my great great great granddaddy Wilfred's Agony Acres Plantation over yonder there in Alpharetta."

"If we can get the Tea Partiers on board with this, as I think we can," said GOP statigist Charles Heinz, "we should be will on our way to taking back the House and the Senate."


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4 Comments:

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