KARL ROVE: SAME SEX MARRIAGES RUINED MINE
by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Former top Bush aide Karl Rove blamed gay marriages for his divorce from Darby, his wife of 24 years. "Banning same sex marriage made things safe for me," said Rove. "But now that some states are allowing gays to marry, I can't stop thinking it may now be possible to do what I've always dreamed to do - marry George W. Bush."

Former President Bush, who was vocal about his opposition to gay marriage, says he is sticking to his guns that gay marriage should be against the law, but said same sex marriage was not illegal if the president did it. "My compadreate, Alberto Gonzales advisicated me with the fabulous news that I was still above the law and that I could become Mrs. Rove, or turd-blossom, as I fondly call Karl, could become the former first lady, Mrs. Bush"

Laura Bush said she didn't blame gay marriage for the difficulty she has had in her marriage. "What really sunk my ship," Laura Bush said, "were the laws that allowed sociopaths to marry." Former Vice President Dick Cheney said he might not be so opposed gay marriage if, "gay couples were allowed to torture each other like normal couples do."

Former Senator Larry Craig blamed out of control hunky bare-chested gay airport bathroom attendants for putting a strain on his marriage. "I sure miss the good old days," Craig said, "when marriage was don't ask don't tell."

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