Find A Lawyer
Find A Lawyer Counter


The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - The US Supreme Court upheld the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals' decision that an obscure portion of the 1978 Truth in Advertising law applied to the name of country and ordered the United States of America be officially changed to the Corporate States of America. "This is a great victory for the truth," said Myron Weinberg of the ACLU who had brought the suit on behalf of Luka Wolinski a Cicero, Illinois butcher who claimed state and federal laws favored big corporations making the name of the country misleading. "The only thing uniting the fifty states is that they have been bought and paid for by large corporations," Weinberg said. A jubilant Wolinski told reporters, "Even though the laws that favored the big boys made me go bankrupt, today's ruling is still a victory for the little guy."

The Corporate States of America is a more honest and legally appropriate name for the country," said Crandall Wolsey, a Yale Constitutional Law professor, "for years the courts have upheld the notion that corporations have all the rights of a person and with all the resources of corporations it has made them more equal than people. At least now we can call the country for what it really is."

While there has been an outcry against the name change, the southern states seem pleased. "Corporate States of America or CSA brings back some fond memories for the South," said Chester Worley Throckmorton IV of Charleston, South Carolina. "With the true name now out in the open, we hope the corporate rulers will lower the minimum wage all the way back to zero for certain kinds of people, if you know what I mean."

"It's about time government bureaucrats stopped trying to regulate business," said Monica Burnett of Privatize This, a group supporting moving all government functions to the private sector. "Now we can finish the business of having business regulate the government."

for the real news, visit CLG at


Post a Comment

<< Home