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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - The Republicans have attacked the Obama administration for "sensationalizing a few emails that were lost due to computer glitches," said RNC Chairman, Michael Steele. "Just because these missing emails came from right before and after 9/11, during Hurricane Katrina, right before Valerie Plame was outed, and all during the build up to the Iraq war is no reason for the Democrats to cry conspiracy."

"This is in reality an excuse for a political witch hunt," said Kenneth Starr, the Independent Counsel who investigated Bill Clinton's extra marital affair, "as there is no hint of any blue dress having anything to do with the Bush Presidency." "Singling out Bush is so unfair," said Sean Hannity on Fox. "Why isn't the liberal press looking for the missing FDR emails? After all, he sided with the Soviet communists in World War II."

While the American public may not see any of these emails for at least a year, the Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that at least 200 of these emails were from George Bush begging someone to explain to him the ending of "The Pet Goat."

There are a series of emails between former Vice President Dick Cheney and a mysterious person called B. L. Zebub who Cheney called his "BFF." Cheney also sent an email to members of the Bush administration as well as to the CEO of Halliburton on the day of the Iraq invasion simply saying, "LMAO." In addition, there was an email from Bush's attorney Alberto Gonzales before he was Attorney General, in which he said, "not only is torture legal, it's fun."

Perhaps most shocking was the email from Michael Brown, the former head of FEMA in which he asked the president, "how am I doing with the plans to turn New Orleans into a huge Yachting and horse club." Everyone knows what George W. Bush told "Brownie" about the job he was doing, but now knows the complete context.

The emails were uncovered by computer technicians on behalf of two non-profit groups, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington and the National Security Archive who filed suit against the Executive Office of the President in 2007.

"We shouldn't wallow in the past," said Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, "we need to think of the future and the progress we need to make in stopping all reform."

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