GOP UNVEILS BOLD NEW IDEA TO FIX ECONOMY, HEALTHCARE: ATTACK PELOSI
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – The Republican party launched a new campaign today, to solidify their image to become the party of new ideas with a one point platform – Blame Pelosi. “We are no longer the party of “no” as the Democrat Socialists have tried to brand us,” said Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, “we are now the party of ‘no Pelosi.’”

“We as Republicans have not been able to get this much media traction on an idea since Lincoln freed the slaves,” Steele said. “We weren’t sure this idea would work because after all, for the last five years Bush and Cheney blamed the CIA for misleading them into the invasion of Iraq with faulty intelligence. But somehow the media actually bought it when we attacked Pelosi for daring to claim the CIA misled her with information about torture.”

Thanks to our spanking new leadership of Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and John McCain,” Steele said, “the new Republican party can move the country forward. As Ronald Regan said, don’t look backwards at the failings of the party. And what better way to look to the future than to keep bringing up Ronald Regan’s name.” Steele said Republicans have already admitted their failures of the past eight years. “We weren’t able to eliminate all taxes for the rich, drill unrestrained in the pristine wilderness for oil or outlaw unions, but we have forgiven ourselves for that.” “We did some real soul searching,” said former Vice President Dick Cheney, “and like the weapons of mass destruction, we found nothing.”

“Pelosi bashing is the best thing since Hillary bashing,” said a joyful Newt Gingrich. “And we didn’t even have to say she was a lesbian. Well not yet anyway.” “The ‘It’s all Pelosi’s Fault’ campaign harkens a new era of Republican philosophy,” said GOP strategist Rake Stevens.

“That you can do anything no matter how immoral or disgusting and not have to suffer the consequences if you move the focus to a political opponent who may have heard what you did.”

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