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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

THOMPSON JOINS OTHER REPUBLICANS WHO CRY “FAIL TO THE CHIEF”
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – Actor Fred Thompson, whose bid for the 2008 GOP presidential nomination fizzled at take off has joined the chorus of Republicans who are openly cheering for Obama to fail. “Nothing personal against the magic Negro,” Thompson said, “ but Obama’s policies must fail because he thought of them and we didn’t.”

“The reason it imperative that Obama’s ideas fail,” said Governor Bobby Jindal, “is because his success would show that our ideology of trickle-down tax breaks to the wealthy, drill baby drill, and bomb, baby, bomb doesn’t work. It is more important that our ideology to survive than it is for America to survive.”

“The most frightening nine words in the English language,” said talk show host Michael Reagan, “is ‘Hello, I’m Barack Obama and my policies are working.’” “I have asked God to smite the Muslim infused communistic plans of that Beelzebub in the White House,” said televangelist Pat Robertson, “so when God asked me if causing Obama’s failure was more important than granting peace and prosperity for all Americans, I said yes, especially if gays would get some of that peace and prosperity.”

“We need to have an American Jihad to undermine Obama at every turn,” said Rush Limbaugh, “because if his policies succeed, then everyone will realize just what a drug addled gas bag I am, whose enormous ego is only surpassed by the size of his anal cyst.”

“The only thing we have to fear,” said Newt Gingrich, “is that Obama gets America back on track.” “Have you noticed that Obama is left-handed?” said Bill O’Reilly. “Every right thinking American knows that we can’t afford to have a lefty succeed in the White House.” “What it all comes down to,” said Ann Coulter, “is that we will get Obama and his little dog, too.”

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