GOD APPOLOGIZES TO LIMBAUGH FOR NEGATIVE COMMENTS
By R J Shulman
HEAVEN (PTSD News) – The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that God has apologized to Rush Limbaugh for comments He made when He called the talk show host “a truth challenged drugged out blowhard.” “What I meant” said God, “was that Mr. Limbaugh possesses a different set of truths that requires him to use large amounts of oxycontin to be able to get his message across to his many listeners.”

Apparently, God made his comments after learning that the latest Arbitron ratings show Limbaugh has more listeners in his time slot than all of the religious stations combined. “Now I know what that pinko John Lennon meant when he said the Beatles were more popular than God,” Limbaugh said, puffing on one of his trademark cigars, “but you won’t catch me singing any commie anthems like All You Need is Love.”

God also seems to be back tracking from an earlier statement in which He said He was “going to take back that talent I loaned to Limbaugh and if that portly pundit thinks he’s so hot, just wait to see how hot he’ll get in that place I’ll send him for eternity.” But, when asked about that comment, God said, “maybe Allah said that. He and I get confused allot, you know.”

However, even if Limbaugh is slated for that trip on the hellbound train, he may not get a favorable reception there. “That fat bastard is not welcome here,” said Jerry Fallwell, Lucifer’s recently hired chief assistant of new resident acceptance.

Limbaugh can currently be heard on hundreds of the most powerful stations in America and around the world on short-wave and the internet.

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