PALIN FINALLY GETS HER EX BROTHER-IN-LAW FIRED
By R J Shulman
JUNEAU, Alaska – (PTSD News) – After a brief hiatus to conduct her campaign for vice president of the United States, Sarah Palin resumed her duties as governor of Alaska. As job one, she completed the task of securing the firing of her ex-brother in law, Mike Wooten. Wooten who was once a state trooper, had been working at Klondike Upholsterers in Anchorage, until last Friday, when he was terminated.

“Once this governor sets her mind to get something done,” Palin told KTUU-TV, channel 2 anchor Chad Michaels. “I stay on it until it gets done. Now excuse me while this pit bull hockey mom puts on some lipstick, Chad.” Seizing the moment of levity, Michaels asked, “Tell me Sarah, do you call yourself a hockey mom because your kids are all pucked up?” The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that Michaels was fired from his job after KTUU got a call from the governor’s office.

“Man, a caribou doesn’t stand a chance if he gets in the governor’s sights,” said Wooten.” One minute I am stuffing a couch and the next my boss knocks the stuffing out of me by telling me I’m fired. It’s a good thing McCain lost because if she was the VP, I’d be employee non grata in the lower 48 too.”

“Some people might say that the governor has abused her power by getting her ex brother-in-law fired,” said a Palin spokesperson. “But a committee of six people appointed by the governor found that Sarah did nothing wrong and the problem here is that the media has just been unfairly attacking Sarah, falsely portraying her as a power hungry, vindictive person who will go to any length to destroy her enemies. Now there will be a more balanced portrayal of the governor on TV, now that she got all the local news anchors fired.”