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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – What has come to light in recent days is that there was a major rift in the Republican party as to the tone that was to be taken by the McCain Campaign. On one hand was the more subdued approach of Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt of the McCain camp and on the other Sarah Palin’s more aggressive ‘rip the antlers off,’ approach that was ultimately scrapped.

“We think Sarah may have been right and we were just too nice to Obama,” said Davis. “They were just too afraid to expose the real Obama because they were scared of being called racists,” said national talk show host Rush Limbaugh, “so now we are going to be stuck with an affirmative action President.

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that the Palin plan was just moments away from being launched two weeks before the election, until John McCain blocked it by threatening to re-suspend his campaign. “I’ve gone as low as I can go, already,” McCain told GOP party officials.

Here are some of the themes that were going to be used in these Obama attack ads that would claim the following would happen if people voted for Obama:

1. Obama will name William Ayers as the head of homeland security,
2. Obama will declare all religions illegal, except for Muslims who follow radical black preachers,
3. You will be forced to eat arugula,
4. Any person not found palling around with a terrorist will be sent to Guantanamo,
5. Obama will confiscate your guns and give them to inner city drug dealers,
6. Obama with turn the White House into the Crack House,
7. Since black people had picked cotton and raised white people’s children for four hundred years, Obama will tell white people it was there turn for the next four hundred years,
8. Country music will be banned at NASCAR races and be replaced with Snoop Dog and Flavor Flav,
9. There may be good news that there will be more public transportation, the bad news is you will have to move to the back of the bus,
10. Obama’s idea of spreading the wealth will make good on the promise to give every black person 40 acres and a mule and god help you if you don’t have a mule to give,
11. Joe the Plumber will be forced to face the firing squad,
12. And most horrifying of all Obama will divorce Michelle, marry Senator Clinton and you will get Hillary as the first lady again.

“The Republicans are going to have to be able to run tough campaigns and be able to get down in the gutter with the Democrats in the next election or they will be sunk,” said Hamilton Blore of the Heritage Institute. “They had some powerful material but were too hampered by political correctness and ethics to let the other side have it.”


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