BUDGET CUTS CAUSE CANCELLATION OF ELECTORAL COLLEGE; INAUGURATION IN DOUBT
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – President Bush announced today that “whomever was selected as the winner of the race of president was a mute point because we have run out of the money needed to installicate him. Because of the ruinication of the economy by greedy and corrupt Democrats,” Bush said, “we would be irresponsibly irresponsible to spendicate monies on keeping the doors open to the electoral college, and for the innaugahydation and the innaugahydational ball, so I decided as the decider to stay on as president of the American people.”

“It is true that if the electoral college will not convene to vote for President,” said Constitutional scholar Alan Dershowitz said, “there can be no succession of a new president. The question remains, however, whether the reigning president stays on or the United States is forced to go absolutely rudderless without anyone at the helm. I, like almost all Americans would prefer the latter.”

“Barack Obama’s posse of supporters who follow him shouldn’t have their noses bent too far up their behinds if I stay on as the chief commander,” Bush said. “because I believe in spreading the wealth, too. I take it from the American taxpayer and share it with my friends at Halliburton, AIG and those needy bank presidents and CEO’s.”