PALIN BUYS CROWN, COMPLETES QUEEN OF HEARTS OUTFIT
By R J Shulman
PHILADELPHIA –(PTSD News) Sarah Palin made fashion news today when she purchased a crown once worn by Queen Ludmilla of Poland. “I know there has been some confusion spread by my socialist opponent about why I wear red all the time,” Palin told CNN’s Larry King, “but now there will be no doubt, as everyone knows the Queen of Hearts always wears red.”

When asked if it was appropriate that she spend $350,000 on a crown when many Americans are losing jobs and houses, Palin said, “Off with their heads. Besides,” she added, “this crown makes up for the one I was robbed of when that witch stole Miss Alaska from me. All I have to say to that little tart is off with your head.”

Sarah Palin is so power hungry,” said Syd Malkin author of the New York Times bestseller, Palin on the Couch, Shrinking Caribou Barbie, “that she has some half-baked Alaska idea that the world is one big homecoming and she is in charge.” When asked about Malkin’s comments, Palin said, “Off with his head, and to those investigators in Alaska thinking I abused power, off with their heads, and to those Muslim terrorists who are so barbaric that they go around cutting off people’s heads, off with their heads, and to McCain the wimp who cut and ran from Michigan, off with his head, and to those that think I want to much power, off with the Constitution.”

“There is nothing in this world more frightening,” Malkin said, “than a mean-girl cheerleader who gets a little power.”