RUSH LIMBAUGH ADMITS HE SUPPORTS McCAIN BECAUSE HE’S WHITE
By R J Shulman
NEW YORK – (PTSD – News) – Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh admitted today that he supports John McCain because the Arizona Senator is white. “If all those black people are voting for Obama because he’s black,” Limbaugh told his audience, “how is it wrong for me or any other white person to vote for McCain because he’s white?” Limbaugh also noted that “it takes a real maverick these days to have voted against a Dr. Martin Luther King holiday and I'm all for that kind of maverick.”

“The liberal press is attacking me unfairly,” Limbaugh said, “but it's because they're jealous I broke the story that Colin Powell is a really a black man and had the guts to tell those political correctness slaves that Powell supports Obama because he’s black. We mustn’t forget the vision of our founding fathers,” Limbaugh continued, “who were all white Christians who owned slaves and how their visions has been systematically destroyed by those liberal communistic activist judges who have tried their best to kill God and then take away our God given right to govern those people who need to be governed.”

When asked about Limbaugh’s comments, Franklin Wilson of the Obama campaign said, “I don’t eat pork and I don’t listen to the wild oinks of the other white meat.”

“I agree with Rush,” said Michael Weiner, better known to his audience as Michael Savage, “If things don’t turn around soon, American will have its first affirmative action president. It’s all the fault of those mentally diseased red diaper doper babies who allowed Obama to graduate at the top of his class at Harvard while holding down McCain so he graduated almost last at Annapolis.”

“This election should not be about race, but about the issues,” said Rick Davis of the McCain campaign. “John McCain is just straight talking to Americans by pointing out that Obama is a scary Muslim terrorist angry black man who wants to turn our beloved white house into an inner city hip-hop crack house full of welfare mothers getting new Cadillacs with food stamps while making English a second language to Eubonics while chasing after your wives and daughters. So if Americans vote against Obama, its not about race, it’s about whether you are voting for someone like us who shares our true American values.”