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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

By R J Shulman
NEW YORK (PTSD News) – Senator John McCain told Face the Press host Ron Kobosko today that his campaign was going into high gear when it comes to calling Barack Obama names. “The liberal press has counted us out,” McCain said, “but I’ve got more names to call him than houses I own.”

The following is part of the interview, hosted by Ron Kobosko from Mutual Television’s New York flagship station, WOV-TV, channel 8:

KOBOSKO: Senator McCain, what do you mean by the name of the game is the name?
McCAIN: He who controls the name a person is called wins the election. I am the maverick. Maverick is good. He is the terrorist Muslim. Terrorist Muslim is bad.
KOBOSKO: Those names didn’t seem to hurt Senator Obama as he is still ahead in the polls.
McCAIN: I know. He’s not your typical Democrat. Dukakis was gone with one picture of Willie Horton and Kerry sunk faster than a stone when that swift boat hit him. Obama bobs and weaves like Mohammad Ali. That’s why we’ve now switched to using the “S” word to describe him.
KOBOSKO: You are calling him a snob?
McCAIN: No. Socialist. He wants to spread the wealth around. He wants to funnel money from the rich and give it to the poor.
KOBOSKO: Doesn’t your tax plan and the financial bail out funnel money from the average taxpayer to the rich?
McCAIN: Well, Charley, that kind of redistribution of wealth is earned.
KOBOSKO: My name is Ron.
McCAIN: I know that Charley.
KOBOSKO: Then why are you calling me Charley?
McCAIN: Because it worked so well for Sarah Palin on her interview with Charles Gibson.
KOBOSKO: Getting back to the names you have called Obama…
McCAIN: Yes. If socialist doesn’t hurt him in the polls we will bring out the dreaded “C” word that people of all persuasions run away from.”
KOBOSKO: You will call him a cancer?
McCAIN: No. Communist.
KOBOSKO: I am not sure anyone under 50 is worried about that.
McCAIN: Then we will have to use the dreaded “A” word.
KOBOSKO: Your not going to call him an ass…
McCAIN: Holy mother. Not that word. We will call him the Anti-Christ. Yes, my friends, Obama is the Anti-Christ coming to steal your children and if you vote for him you will surely get left behind when Judgment day comes.
KOBOSKO: Isn’t that a little over the top?
McCAIN: There’s more than that one, my friends. We have a name so scary that it will turn you white.
KOBOSKO: Don’t tell me you are going to use the “N” word.
McCAIN: How dare you think we would sink to that. I love everyone of my supporters who come to my rallies. They are kind of my boys in the hood, if you know what I mean. But, Charley, you know I can’t help it if they shout some of those things that they usually do at their other rallies. It is really Obama who is the one who wants to suppress what my supporters think with all of his political correctness. And why does he want to stop my supporters from what they are thinking? Because Obama knows that what my supporters think is the lynchpin of my campaign. It is what will keep Obama in his place, place in the Senate, I mean.
KOBOSKO: I didn’t mean that “N” word. I meant Narcissist. You know, as in Obama has too much ego. Now what was that name you may end up calling him that is scarier than all the rest?
McCAIN: President


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