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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

BUSH URGES McCAIN TO START GLOBAL CONFLICT, “YOU CAN BE THE WAR CANDIDATE”
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – In his weekly radio address, President Bush urged Senator John McCain, who continues to trail in the polls to “start beginning a war somewhere where you can say there are terrorists there. You need to have political capital,” Bush told McCain, “something I learned the hard way when my daddy pulled out of Iraq and got clocked by Clinton in the election. So I urgicate you to invade Iran or Guam.”

Senator McCain who was campaigning in Grand Junction, Colorado told reporters, “I think we are already in Guam, so maybe I should invade Czechoslovakia instead.”

Bush said that McCain is the most experienced candidate to start a war. “While Obama was sitting around without preconditions getting all kumbayah with William Ayers, Reverend Wright and that Colidi guy from Palestine, John McCain was crashing planes for the military. Now would you rather have a President who drops some arugula on our enemy or a man who can drop the whole darn plane on them whether our enemies are in North Korea or Puerto Rico.”

Senator McCain said, “I think we are already in Puerto Rico, but it might be a good to show them all we mean business by invading the Soviet Union. Now don’t think I am going into battle lightly,” McCain concluded, “I know from first hand experience that war is hell, but not as much hell as I’ll get from Sarah Palin if I lose the election, so as with most other issues, I agree with Bush on starting a new war.”

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