CINDY McCAIN: I WISH I CALLED THE EXORCIST EARLIER
By R J Shulman
PHOENIX – (PTSD News) Many political pundits expressed surprise when John McCain seemed to abruptly change his tone and spoke graciously about Barack Obama during his concession speech. But Cindy McCain was not surprised because she had seen to it John McCain would change. Cindy McCain had called a exorcist.

“I had become frightened at how John was behaving so erratically and so mean on the campaign trail,” Cindy McCain said. “At first I thought it was the medication that made him seem so different than when he ran in 2000. Straight talk had turned to hate talk. He kept attacking and smearing his opponent. I was at a loss until I caught him one night kissing a photo of Dick Cheney. I knew what to do. I called Father Grotski, the famous exorcist.”

“Cindy and I finally cornered John the night before the election,” said Father Bernard Grotski, a 59 year-old priest from Detroit, famous for his exorcisms. “John’s face was twisted in hate, but I knew it was not really John,” Grotski said. “That demon spouted hatred toward gays, liberals and screeched that it wanted the troops to stay in Iraq forever. It wanted to get people to fight with it, just to fight and it kept saying it wanted to drill for oil, drill everywhere for oil. It was a tricky exorcism and the entity almost killed me before I got it out of John’s body.” Grotski suffered a broken collar bone, lacerations and had his face peppered with a shotgun that was fired, according to the priest by McCain when he was still possessed.

“If I had only realized what was wrong earlier,” Cindy McCain said. “I would have called the good Father earlier and we could have had the old John back on the campaign, instead of that horrible demon who was so crazy and hateful and more importantly, we wouldn’t have had that demon pick Sarah Palin as the running mate.”