POLITICAL SATIRISTS IN PANIC: OBAMA JUST NOT FUNNY
By R J Shulman
NEW YORK – (PTSD – News) – Political satirists are in a frenzy as it has become clear that President Elect Obama is just not humorous. “Simply put,” said satirist Andy Borowitz, “ Barack Obama is the least funny leader since Jesus Christ.”

“We have nothing to write, nowhere to go,” said Freddie Rosenthal, a staff writer for David Letterman. “Obama not only knows how many houses he owns and that Yugoslavia is no longer a country, but he won’t be saying anytime soon that he’s the decider who wants to put food on your family,” said Howie Cohensteinleibowitz, who writes for Jay Leno. “I wanted to add some political humor to my nightclub act,” said comedian-actor Michael Richards “but with Obama all I can think of are inappropriate black jokes.”

Some pol-sat writers have cried foul, claiming there is a conspiracy to rob them of their livelihood. “There is something funny, not ha-ha funny, but funny about a politician who is not funny,” said Moshe Schlomo Wilson, senior vice president of the Comedy Network. “Even our own John Stewart is at his wits end with the Obama thing and we are calling for a full scale investigation.”

Not everyone is convinced the humor shortage is really a crisis. Bill O’Reilly of Fox News said, “I know me saying Obama has a funny name went over like a white hood at an NAACP convention, but, come on, Obama has funny initials. B.O. Every decent fun loving American knows that stands for body odor. Now what moron would put himself in the public eye the initials B O,” Bill O’Reilly concluded.

So far, the sudden downturn in political satire has already claimed over 42 jobs at the major networks, cable stations and comedy clubs. “Political humorists are dropping faster than Starbuck’s profits,” said Billy Lyons owner of the Laff Riot Comedy Club in Kansas City. Larry Martin, who was just let go by the Colbert Report, said “It’s so bleak out there for political satirists that it would be easier to get a job as a mortgage broker for out of work auto workers.”

Many fear that the United States is on the verge of a satire recession or worse. “Without humor,” said Dr. Dante Proust of the Bennett Cerf institute, “we really are headed for a depression.”