OBAMA MAKES VEEP CHOICE; McCAIN BIDIN’ HIS TIME
By R J Shulman
PHOENIX – While Senator Joe Biden will make his first appearance today in Springfield, Illinois as Barack Obama’s running mate, the McCain camp will continue to play the waiting game regarding their Vice Presidential choice. “Let those name calling Commie Democrat traitors have their day,” McCain told the Post Times Sun Dispatch, “but soon they will be shaking like brie eating Frenchmen waving white flags when they see who I’m going to pick.”

In contention for the GOP choice is former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, General David Petraeus, and the dark horse, Ron Paul. “I don’t thinkicate that McCain will pick that RuPaul, in fact I know he won’t pick that RuPaul” said President Bush, “but wait until the surprise secret gets out that we’ve been protecticating so well and it's too bad I can't tell you that secret is that in the Veep spot will be none other than my brother Jeb. The American people must understand that we will get Florida for sure without having to cheat fair and square this time.”

“Now that Obama has chosen a well respected senator with impeccable foreign policy experience,” said “Gerald Steetor, a top Washington pundit, “speculation is that McCain will counter with an equally impressive choice which I believe will be the person Dick Cheney tells him to pick.” A McCain spokesman said that the Arizona Senator will not be making any announcement until he completes an accurate count of the houses he owns.

“It’s a misplaced emphasis to count on who the running mate will be to secure a win in November,” said Karl Rove, “you need to count on who is counting the votes in November to secure that victory.”