McCAIN TO ANNOUNCE VP CHOICE VIA TELEGRAPH
By R J Shulman
PHOENIX - In a Presidential race full of surprises and traditional rule breaking, Senator John McCain will forgo the traditional staged event for the announcement of his Vice Presidential candidate and make the announcement via the telegraph. “We think this is a direct slap in the face to Obama, who is not telegraph savvy,” said Rick Davis, McCain Campaign manager. “Obama is too out of touch with the American people, especially the youngsters who are quite hep to the telegraph,” Davis said.

“My friends,” McCain said, “there is going to be quite a surge of excited Americans at the telegraph offices when I make my historic announcement. It sure beats telling everyone who their next Vice President will be by sending the announcement by Pony Express or driving around town in a Maverick or Pinto throwing flyers on doorsteps.”

“Speculation is running high that as soon as Dick Cheney tells McCain who his running mate will be, that telegraph keys will be clacking all over the country,” a McCain aid said. “This bold move into new advanced technology should dispel any notion that I am old and behind the times,” said McCain dressed in a tye-dyed shirt, Nehru jacket and wide elephant bell pants, an outfit McCain claims is a move to connect himself with today’s youth trends.