THE INFIDELITY OF JOHN EDWARDS MEANS THE END OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION
By R J Shulman
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina – In a new book, just released, author Andrew Connors states that the revelation that John Edwards cheated on his wife Elizabeth is not just a news story that gets played for a few days, but is the most significant story of our lifetime. “When I heard this story, I was stunned,” said Connors, a researcher at the conservative Heritage Foundation. “The very foundation of our civilization is built upon that man being faithful to his wife who has cancer and he as betrayed that trust.”

Connors who spent an entire weekend researching the book, states that all Democrats starting with Barack Obama, the standard bearer of the party, must immediately resign. “I know they are too caught up in trying to be celebrities to leave office,” Connors says, “and that will cause all kinds of acts of God to start to crumble our world as we know it. It will make Hurricane Katrina look like a summer breeze.”

“Unfortunately the liberal media will be too busy reporting the Olympics or that war in Georgia to grasp the importance of the Edwards story,” Sean Hannity of Fox said. “So whiney Americans will be worrying about the high price of oil and wars in faraway places rather than clamoring for the impeachment of every Democrat.”

“What is so shocking about Edwards action,” said Connor, “is that unlike David Vitter, or Larry Craig, or John McCain, Edwards is guilty of the greatest sin of all and that is cheating while a Democrat. If he had become a Republican first and then cheated, he would still be respected.”

“I know that Democrats will try and bring up that John McCain cheated on his first wife with Cindy Hensley who he later married,” said Rick Davis of the McCain campaign, “but those Democrats are just sore losers because McCain cheated with a stacked blonde who owned a beer franchise and Clinton ended up with the likes of Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones.

Connors ends his book by saying everyone should vote Republican and then prepare for the end times.