McCAIN: I’M JUST LIKE THE COMMON MAN, I’VE GOT A HOUSING CRISIS OF MY OWN
By R J Shulman
PHOENIX – Countering criticism that John McCain is out of touch with most Americans, the Arizona Senator struck back. He told the Post Times Sun Dispatch, “while the average Joe is sitting in his kitchen counting his money to see if he can pay his mortgage, this average John is sitting in one of his kitchens counting his houses to see if he can answer a reporter’s question.”

“I am really more like the guy down the street than Obama, especially on this street,” McCain said, “and I am more like the typical guy who has to ask his wife to borrow a few bucks to pay for a six-pack as he spent all his money at the gas pump, as I have to ask my wife to borrow a few beer trucks to come to the house because I forgot to put gas in the SUV.”

“Obama is out of touch with what America wants,” McCain said, “as he has no clue that Americans overwhelming support the war in Iraq, think the economy is going great, think we have the greatest health care system in the world, hate gays, and can’t wait for the next Rock Hudson/Doris Day movie to hit the local drive in so they can drive over in their new American made Studebaker while listening to Steppenwolf on their 8-track player.” McCain concluded by saying the Democrats are hopelessly stuck in the 60’s with all this talk of “a new John Kennedy and Camelot and peace and love. I am the one in touch with modern America. For example, my friends, I’ve just hooked up my Betamax tape player and can’t wait to see the new John Wayne movie.”