DEMS AGREE WITH GOP THAT SHEILDING TELECOMS MORE IMPORTANT THAN CONSTITUTION
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - Today, the House passed a bill that would shield the telecom companies who illegally spied on Americans. House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer of Maryland said, “We felt that protecting the telecom companies who followed the President’s request to illegally spy on Americans was as important as protecting us in Congress from unfortunate, embarrassing and shameful calls we made that the telecoms were kind enough to tell us could accidentally be made public by them in the next few weeks.”

“This bill also protects a very important American natural resource,” said Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, “and that resource is the contributions that those of us in Congress get from the giant telecoms.” Representative Peter Hoekster, Republican of Michigan said, “when we had to weigh the interests of the civil liberties and rights guaranteed by the Constitution versus the rights of the telecoms to make a profit, it’s a no-brainer - the Constitution has got to go.”

White House spokesman Tony Fratto said that the President is pleased with this new version of the wiretapping bill, which secures the right of the President to indiscriminately spy on anyone for any reason. “This new bill allows the President to personally reprimand in a manner of his choosing those that were opposed to his wide-scale eavesdropping or were opposed to him for any reason” said Fratto, “and the good news is, he already knows who they are and exactly where they receive their phone service.”