McCAIN SAYS HE’D LIKE TO SEE A MAN ON MARS: SPECIFICALLY BARACK OBAMA
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - Presumptive Republican Presidential candidate John McCain said Thursday that he would like to see a manned mission to Mars. He would support such a mission as long as the man was Barack Obama and the mission would start immediately. “We can’t afford to wait to start this program,” McCain said, “or we will lose the space race to North Korea with their dangerous Sunis or Iran with their bad Arabs.” Former Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld agreed for the need to move ahead. “You have to go into space with the equipment you have,” he said, so Obama should stop all his elite and bitter complaining that the program is neither ready or nor safe.”

McCain said he would be willing to spend tax payer money on a program because it would capture the attention of the American public, like the man on the moon did in 1969. A McCain spokesman said they have discussed the matter with Senator Hillary Clinton who expressed interest in sending Obama to the red planet. “He is such a good orator,” she said, “he could help the Democrats by turning the red planet blue.”