WHITE HOUSE PUZZLED OVER MCCLELLAN BOOK: WE TAUGHT HIM TO LIE, NOW HE'S FORGOTTEN HOW
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said Wednesday that she is “puzzled and saddened” by former Presidential Press Secretary Scott McClellan’s new book which attacks President Bush on many issues. “The White House staff spent so much time teaching him how to lie, lie, lie and how does he repay them? He tells the barefaced truth,” she said. “He should be ashamed of himself.”

The book, called, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception alleges that Bush used propaganda to sell the war in Iraq, that his response to Hurricane Katrina was completely botched and that “Scooter” Libby and Karl Rove held a secret meeting to get their story straight about the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame.

“Scott is a disgruntled former employee,” said Karl Rove, “who’s just like the rest of the 80% of disgruntled Americans who want to unfairly attack President Bush. “If I could read, I wouldn’t readicate Scottie’s book,” said President Bush. “because what’s in there are not the official lies that the Decider, that’s me, told him to speechicate to the American people.”

“I am puzzled by his sudden 180 degree turn,” said Vice President Cheney. “If he was so unhappy while he worked here with us, why didn’t he just come out and tell us? I guess I’ll have to hear it directly from him when we go on our remote hunting trip next week and have a little face to face, if you know what I mean.”