REPUBLICANS PLEASED TO RUN AGAINST EITHER A “SPADE” OR A “HO”
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – Republicans feel like a winner already, regardless of who wins the Democratic Presidential nomination., say GOP insiders. “We were quite concerned about our chances to stay in the White House in 2008 after Bush mucked things up,” said Henry Buss of the Republican National Committee, “but the Dems must be addicted to losing as they will nominate either a black man or a woman.”

“We can’t decide who would be better to run against to excite our base,” said William Stone, a Republican analyst, “Either way it’s double our pleasure, double our fun. With Hillary as our foe, not only can we slam her as a woman, we can bash her as a Clinton, where with Barak Obama we not only have the race card, but that fool’s middle name is Hussein. How anti-American is that?”

“The dream team is if they are both on the ticket,” Stone continued. “Who cares that we Republicans will be fielding a senile war mongering flip flopping drop out from anger management class. All we have to tell our constituents is vote for McCain or your lives will be run by a Clinton lesbian communist man-hater or a crack smoking black Muslim terrorist who hates America.”

“The Democrat party may be promising America a rose garden,” said talk show host Rush Limbaugh, “but all those hate mongering name calling liberals will give us is either a spade or a hoe.”